Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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