remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
