Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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