he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
