Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
