No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
