Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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