So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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