I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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