But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he puts the penis in happiness.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
