a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
