haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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