Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
