Yo dont text me then not text me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
