Have you finally orgasmed yet?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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