What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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