I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
