READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize