I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
