I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
