is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize