you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
