but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
