would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need a beard to bite.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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