My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
