What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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