Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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