I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
