I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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