The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
