they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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