she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
