I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
