You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
