I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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