I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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