Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
