i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
