We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
