so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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