Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
