Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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