I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
