allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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