It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
