it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
