the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize