im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
