Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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