But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
