dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
