she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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