can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
