its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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