She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
