Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
