They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you would pick up someone in the library
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
