oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize