Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
