how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
