Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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