so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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