She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
